leapsandbounds

i thought if i drank, it would loosen me up. that maybe i’d find something new in the song i was writing. instead, it stole my superpowers. the ability i’d accessed over the last year, to sing and play guitar simultaneously was gone.

then this happened.

(featuring Sadie Poop on canine collar tambourine at 0:31)

once i was gettin over a girl and someone said “you’re…you’re not gonna do anything stupid? are you?” and i was like “what?!? over a girl? FUCKno!” that’s pretty much what happened here…in my head…out of my mouth…while playing guitar.

and if you’re like me and can’t stand abrupt endings, i visited a paralleled universe where saying that last line didn’t wake me up. the next lyric is…

“for one night w/ that ho”

cause i’m romantic.

oh, and i sang “ho” like “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan. 

cause i’m awesome!

(Source: crescentkatie)

shit’s poppin off. fuckin up my flow.

Monday, i lost my voice on the Space Roller. Today, i found this one.

iamdonald:

“I got a phone call late last night telling me my grandmother only has a day left to live.  And I don’t want this to sound cold…but I’m not going to pay the ransom.”

Anthony Jeselnick - “Shakespeare” - Buy it HERE.  Buy it dummy.  It’s really funny.

Here’s a free mp3 snippet of the album.

how i sound when i sneeze.

a lil p tone.

You and Robin were a terrible couple, it just didn’t work. Sure, you’ll always love Robin, but remember other women? More importantly, remember other boobs? and all the cool stuff you can do with boobs? nuzzle. juggle. honka honka. i guess, i’m just a hopeless romantic.

from How I Met Your Mother Season 5, Episode 21 Twin Beds

sarahlane:

My mom just emailed this photo to me. 

Subject: BOB

Body: Thought you’d like this!

How quickly we forget that 8th grade Sarah made her mother stand next to her in the bathroom while brushing her teeth at night because she couldn’t be alone after a BOB episode.

WTF Mom.